Last night, after using my personal microdermabrasion device (if you’re as terrified of wrinkles as I am, this doohickey will thrill you!), I went to apply a few pumps of retinol cream to my almo30-year-oldold skin, and nothing came out. I was out of’ my must have wrinkle fighter, and it was too late to run to the store for more (PS- why aren’t all containers clear so we can avoid these situations?!). I let out my almost famous heavy “ohmygosh, life is so cruel” sigh, and as I examined my face in the mirror, dreaming of the 98 wrinkles that were sure to popup by morning, I realized how amazingly lucky I was to be fretting about SUCH a ridiculous problem. What a nice change to have that be the biggest of my worries. The thing is, the good life isn’t as unattainable as people think. You can live it too, and today, I’m showing you the blueprint for making it happen.
The good life is something I only discovered a few years ago. My life hasn’t always been so stress-free. Not even close.
In fact, I’ve winded up in the hospital more than once because my stress was out of control, and I managed it about as well as I dance (so, not very well). I became a single mom at 20, and was determined to make it on my own. So, I got my own place, and worked my tail off, but it wasn’t always easy. There were times I wondered how I was going to put gas in my car. I put my divorce attorneys kid through a year of college instead of filling my fridge. Around that time, my “he who shall not be named” father who had cosigned on my car, paid it off years early without me knowing, and then sued me for said car, so I had to figure out a way to pony up the cash to pay the entire balance off in one foul swoop to be done with that horrible human, plus pay my attorney fees. Plus, I was just plain lonely, and lonely sucks. Times were tough.
I often say that I’m blessed to live the life that I do, and I do believe that. But, I also worked my behind off for the life I have. It has nothing to do with luck, and everything to do with hustle.
Here’s the deal, living the good life isn’t complicated. It isn’t out of reach. For anyone.
In fact, I’m going to go on record to say that it’s actually pretty freakin’ easy.
Why?
It all boils down to balance and adjusting your attitude, which are two things you have complete control of. No one can take away your passion or your drive. Not a bullshit excuse for a parent, or the bank, or the illness you have to learn to operate with.
My first step to living my good life was defining what that was, and it’s surprisingly simple.
I want to be happy. I want to be able to go to sleep at night without worrying about to do lists, or bills, or premature wrinkles. I want to be able to take my daughter to the zoo on a Monday during summer break. I want to make my own money, and do what I love. I want to save for my future, while being able to afford to do the things that allow me to enjoy the present.
And most of the time now, I’m doing all of those things.
Sure, sometimes my world is rocked. I get bad news about someone I love. I have one of those days where it seems like everything that could go wrong, does. A death leaves me sobbing in the shower, wondering if I will ever feel whole again.
No matter what happens today, the sun will rise again tomorrow, and life will go on. So I accept the things I have no control of, and try to live my life from a place of joy.
I want you to think about what the good life means to you. Think about how you would feel, laying in bed, at the end of the day, if you were living the good life.
Do you feel at peace because you have meaningful relationships? Are you giddy because you just dropped an insane amount of money on some fabulous accessories? Did you spend the day with your children, or, did you enjoy a spa day while your kids hung out with the nanny? Did you feel fulfilled at your day job, or while working on your business?
Everyone’s idea of what the good life is is different. And if you’re really digging deep, you’ll likely find being fulfilled has little to do with things money can buy.
Though spending time in Kate Spade always does have a way of making my heart go pitter-patter. But without fulfillment in the other things, my relationships, my confidence, my business, a purse wouldn’t fix things.
Now, make a list of what you need to do in order to go to bed with your happy feelings every night.
Maybe you have some fences you need to mend, or you need to find a way to make more money so you can pay off debt that’s stressing you out or start a side hustle that eventually will be your main gig. Perhaps you need to sell the contents of your home and move into a studio apartment so that you can put more money into savings so that you can travel more. Perhaps you need to find a therapist so you can finally break the negative mindset that is holding you back.
Once you’ve made a detailed plan, all that’s left is to start living out your plans.
Seriously, that’s all there is to it. Buckle down and make shit happen.
No time to get your business off the ground? Pull a few all nighters. No money in the bank? Pick up a part time job. Failing marriage? Have an honest conversation with your partner, get professional help if you need it, and let it go if that’s all there is left to do.
It’s all easier said than done, I know. Kind of.
If there is one thing I want to empower women to do, it would be to teach them to act more and think less. Stop the worrying, and the wondering, and the “what if”ing. Follow your heart, and find your joy.
Often, doing that is hard. It means ending friendships, opening ourselves up to failure, and sacrificing things we want for things we need. But it is well worth it in the end.
In my next post, I will share with you the one tip I swear by to make finding work/life balance a breeze. If you’re not doing it already, it just might change your life. It’s that serious!
Do you struggle to find balance? Tell me about it in the comments and let’s brainstorm some ideas that will help!
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