As of today, I officially have less than four weeks until my scheduled c-section. Sometime last week, the enormity of that began to set in, and now I’m teetering somewhere in the middle of terrified and thrilled about our family’s new addition finally entering the world. The whole mom boss thing is empowering, but also can be totally intimidating, and I’ve decided is that it’s time to call out the notion that to be successful, you have to be rocking everything with absolute perfection!
My almost no longer only child (can I just say I’m in currently in tears imagining the moment we hug for the last time before I head to the OR, forever changing our “just the two of us” status) is ten. While working from home and running a business while raising an almost tween is often challenging, we’ve gotten a system down, and for years I’ve felt pretty darn good about it!
On most days, I feel like I rock mom boss pretty darn well.
At least I did, before my pregnancy brought on eight months of daily throwing up, exhaustion, heartburn, and a few other things I won’t mention because I don’t want to make you vomit. Glowing pregnant lady raving about how beautiful pregnancy is and how wonderful she feels, I am not.
Not to mention, I’m fairly sure the sweet baby girl awaiting her final eviction notice must have somehow figured out how to feed on my brain because I swear my ability to think coherently has severely diminished. Pregnancy brain is real, y’all.
Like that one time when my guy asked why my insurance card was in the freezer. Or the time I went to drop off my daughter at school without shoes on and didn’t even notice until I got home.
But, I’ve powered through and neither my home or my business, have fallen apart. Phew!
Only, as I sit here, contemplating what the next few weeks means in terms of my business, I know that life as I know it is about to get rocked. Hard. After this post, I will only write three more blog posts in the still of the morning while my only child is at school. I will only meet with my weekly one-on-one clients three more times before I need to worry about arranging care for my newborn during our calls.
I’m freaking out a little bit freakin’ lot here because my mom boss status is about to get interesting. Nothing from my plate is being taken away, but a whole lot is being added, and I’m expected to continue to juggle it all without dropping a single ball.
Especially because I’d decided only to take one week off after our little lady is born, which seemed like an entirely reasonable time period six months ago, but now it’s starting to feel ridiculous. Especially because we’d decided to move three weeks after her arrival. What the heck was I thinking?!
Only, want to know a secret? I’m not perfect at everything, and I won’t be perfect at everything once our baby arrives. Some days, I’ll nail being a business owner, while my kids have a little too much screen time so that I can finish the email I’m writing. Other days, I’ll ditch the website maintenance I wanted to do because we decide to go to the zoo. Once in a while, I’ll suck at everything and will accomplish little more than ensuring no one died that day. Most of the time, I’ll be somewhere in the “best all around” category because while I didn’t do much with absolute perfection, I tried my best at everything I did.
The truth is, businesses change, life changes, and all we can hope for sometimes is to keep our heads above water while we’re floundering around like lunatics.
The other day, I got to thinking about the whole #momboss movement, and how awesome, but crippling it feels.
On the one hand, moms running households and businesses is incredible. I love that it is something that is encouraged and celebrated! Being a mom boss rocks. To all you women raising little ones and building businesses- YOU FREAKIN’ ROCK. Seriously, give yourself some a whole ton of credit!
Only, there’s another side to the movement, one that makes it appear that it’s easy to juggle it all, which can make you feel craptastic on the days you didn’t even manage to shower. That part where having a perfect Instagram feed filled with sparkly clean marble countertops, beautifully styled images that promote your business, perfect looking children, and 24/7 manicured nails are totally normal and effortless.
For me, being a mom boss takes WORK.
Like, sometimes I only have time to paint three nails but then get distracted and walk around like that for a week because I don’t have time to remove it, work. As in, sometimes I am working like a loon and don’t make dinner, leaving my daughter and sweetie pie to fend for themselves, and I allow myself to be oblivious to the fact that they’re both probably eating ice cream. Out of the container. *shudder*
Most of the time, I have a pretty good handle on everything, because I am a borderline OCD maniac who is obsessed with list making and has no idea how to relax. However, adding a new baby to the mix just might change that a bit, at least for a while until we settle into our new normal.
And you know what? That’s ok!
Because for a while, my mom boss status means that I get the luxury of working in yoga pants from yesterday that have dried up baby puke on them, without anyone being the wiser. It means I get to work from home and be with my baby all the time instead of sending her to daycare and missing moments. There are certainly perks to speak of, even though they’re not necessarily all super glam ones.
Here is my plea to you: if you’re a mom boss who some days feels like the stress of being a full-time at home mom, mixed with full-time business owner is going to land you a one-way ticket to the loony bin, and you nearly cry when your Instagram feed is filled with other mom bosses who look like they have it all together, remember that you’re only seeing someone’s hi-light reel. For all you know, that mom posting the beautiful images of her happy children was covered in poop from her potty-training toddler, and snapped that one picture before her little one spiraled into total meltdown mode. You never know.
It’s super easy to make mayhem look put together on social media. Check out this post to see what I mean (plus learn other Instagram tips!)!
Being a mom boss is hard, so don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t! But, it is the most rewarding thing in the world.
Not only are you running your own business (which- hello, impressive!) but you’re an amazing mom. You’re showing your children what it means to go for your dreams. You are proving to them that anything can be accomplished with hard work.
So rock on, mom boss, and hang in there. Know that there is a whole tribe of moms, just like you, who feel like the weight of doing it all is sometimes crushing.
I beg of you, stop comparing your story to that of another mom boss, especially one that you only know through the internet. Aim to be authentic, even when that means posting a picture of the mural your child drew on the wall in marker because you were trying to write an email on it to Instagram. The struggle is real, and I promise you, there are a whole ton of ladies who will TOTALLY relate. You just might make someone’s day when they see someone daring to post a picture of a not so picture perfect (but SO real) moment.
Do you ever feel like you’re expected to have it all together, all the time? Does Instagram ever make you feel like you’re dropping the ball when you see beautifully cultivated feeds of other mom bosses? Share your stories in the comments!
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