Last week, I had to say no to a woman that really wanted to work with me. This particular woman hadn’t had a new client in months, and felt like she was just throwing water at walls hoping it would magically turn into glue and stick. Before starting her business, she hadn’t made a plan, didn’t do much research, and was seriously lacking when it came to marketing, sales, branding, and organization. After talking with the sweet woman for an hour, I knew working with her would be a HUGE mistake, and I told her so (tactfully, of course!). It didn’t go well, but it was the right move. Think it’s good business to work with anyone willing to throw money your way? Let me give you a new perspective to consider- one that requires you to say no, so that your business can flourish!
First things first. Why did I feel I needed to say no to this potential client?
On paper, she was perfect. She was just the type of business owner I set out to help, and after only an hour, my brain was overflowing with ideas for transforming her business.
Only, it’s not just about what things look like on paper.
Kind of like that ex-boyfriend with the great hair and come hither stare. The one that had the nice job and fancy car, that volunteered at the hospital and loved watching The Bachelor. Only, behind closed doors, he pooped with the door wide open, made mean jokes about your mother, and had a nasty drinking problem. Thanks, but no thanks.
What I was hearing from this woman, was that she was more interested in blaming everyone else for her failure, than she was in finding solutions. She was constantly asking me to reassure her that my services were “worth it”, which made me feel that she didn’t value them. She had no goals, no direction, and no passion. She told me that she had problems sticking with things, and taking direction. She hated change, and didn’t like when people tried to tell her how to run her business (even though she claimed to understand that what she was doing wasn’t working).
So, while she was telling me all the things I wanted to hear in regards to her business needing help, I wasn’t buying what she was selling. I called bullshit. I knew I had to say no to working with her (if she wanted to work with me by the end of our call), about 30 minutes in.
I gave her some tips, went through her website with her and made suggestions, and when it came time to finish up, she said she had a few questions about my services, because she really wanted to book one of my coaching packages. I gently told her that while I appreciated her enthusiasm, based on our conversation, I didn’t feel that working together was a good fit.
It did not go over well.
Suddenly, the sweet woman I’d been talking to went on the defense. She was pissed. Insulted that I would say no to her. Wasn’t I the one that was supposed to be trying to prove myself to her? Why was she suddenly the one being told “thanks, but no thanks”?
I get it.
But I stood my ground, knowing that if I gave in and took her on as a client, it would likely be an uphill battle that would leave us both feeling unfulfilled. I didn’t believe that she was willing to do the work. I got the impression that she didn’t really believe she could be helped. If I told her to do something, would she actually do it? Signs pointed to no. In the end, if she still wasn’t booking any clients, would she be willing to accept that she did not put in the work that is required to be successful? I wasn’t sure, and I wasn’t willing to be blamed if her lack of motivation and follow through squashed my best efforts.
Plus, I don’t like when my clients fail. At the end of the day, the only way anyone can be successful, is if they decide to be. It takes work, and while I provide my clients with the tools they need to transform their businesses, and leave them feeling confident and prepared to spread their wings and fly, I can’t go out there and do the work for them. I can’t force someone to show up and make positive changes, and I have no interest in trying to.
I want to work with clients that are willing to make changes, own their failures, and bust down the walls that are holding them back. This woman simply wasn’t in a place where she seemed ready to do that.
Eventually, our call ended, and we both hung up feeling frustrated. Her, because she was just willing to pay me, and she couldn’t believe I would say no. Me, because I wished that I had been able to help her, but knew she wasn’t ready yet.
The next day, I talked with another business owner, and it was love at first chat. I was excited about her business, she was itchin’ to make changes, open about the mistakes she’d made, and gracious (even grateful) when I started bringing the holes in her business to light. We had our first call yesterday, and I am thrilled to get to be a part of her journey.
THAT is my why. I do my job because it’s something I’m passionate about, and working with business owners who are ready to transform their businesses and make their dreams a reality makes me ridiculously happy.
Forcing change upon unwilling business owners who would rather complain that their competition is at fault because they’re taking away their clients is not something I enjoy, and I am not willing to fill my schedule with those activities. Not even if someone wants to pay me double.
Remember, when you say yes to something, you ultimately say no to something else. Had I taken on that ho-hum client, I would have filled up my monthly coaching spots, and would have had to turn the amazing BFF worthy client away.
Even if I had not filled that spot with someone I was thrilled to work with, I still would have been saying “no” to things I find important. My family, the gym, The Good Wife.
I believe in spending as much time as I can doing things that bring me joy, and I design my business in a way that allows me to do that. After all, isn’t that the whole point of running your own business? To be able to design a life you love?
Not sure how to say no? Check out these great resources:
Say No Like a Pro- When to Turn Down New Business
Saying No to a New Client May be Your Best Business Move
So, what about you? Do you take any client that is willing to pay you, or are you willing to say no to someone if you get bad vibes? If you freeze up when speaking with a client you know you should say no to, and often wind up saying yes, or constantly find yourself allowing your potential clients to run the show by allowing them to bend your policies, pricing, and schedule, tell me about it! Leave a comment, or shoot an email to kim@kimberlyhaydn.com and I will give you my favorite tips for politely declining people that are not your ideal clients!
Latest posts by Kimberly Haydn (see all)
- Holiday Hacks + How to Have a Good Enough Christmas (and LOVE it) - December 5, 2018
- Increase Summer Sales with These Marketing Ideas! - July 4, 2018
- Seasons of Change: Navigating Building a Business while Raising Your Children - September 24, 2017